My toxic trait: I tend to tackle projects all at once, from start to end, instead of splitting them into manageable tasks. Take, for instance, a room I painted a few weeks ago. It started like an easy project, relaxing even! I began with the ceiling, as that was the hardest part. Then I took on the walls. However, halfway through the first coat, I started getting fatigued. And what happens when you’re tired? You get sloppy. I could have paused then and resumed on another day. But I was stubborn about completing the job, so I continued. I’m also a perfectionist, so I added to my workload because I had to fix the mistakes I was making from exhaustion: drips on the wall, splatters on the floor, smudges on molding, etc. I finished the room in record time, which was very satisfying—but I paid for it. Every muscle on my body hurt, and some aches lingered for weeks.
Doing some introspection, I’ve discovered that my resistance to breaking up big projects comes from the fear that I’ll procrastinate and end up not completing them. I pride myself on my ability to work fast and be reliable to others and to myself, both in my work life and personal life. Finding balance has always been a challenge for me, and it is something I am continually working on. Right now, I’m tackling a massive project for a long-time client, and I have forced myself to split it up into stages. It’s going well so far! I can’t wait to share more about it when I’m done! What’s one toxic trait you have that’s been hard to let go of?